Change
by ajennings822
Summary: After being attacked while walking to her car, she hides it from everyone, including Booth. 8-29-14: I may be deleting/updating chapters as I have decided to redirect the story a bit.
1. Chapter 1

Dr. Temperance Brennan walked through the parking deck towards her Prius. Normally, even late in the evenings, she didn't feel any apprehension walking out to her car alone, but this night was different. She looked from side to side, taking in the vast expanse of the deck, unable to shake the sudden fear that seemed to grip her from the inside. She didn't see any other car near hers, but she picked up her pace anyway. She reached into her bag and found the Glock, and switched the safety to the off position. Within a few feet of her car, her pace slowed and she began to relax; thankful that she'd made it. She chided herself for getting so worked up over nothing. She didn't hear the footsteps behind her until the hand was around her mouth. She tried to fight against the chloroform by not breathing but she had to suck in a breath to scream. She was unconscious within seconds.

Brennan woke up lying beside her car. She took an inventory of her injuries: at least 2 broken ribs, busted lip, concussion, and the hospital would need to do a rape kit. Struggling, she finally sat up, leaning on her car for support. She was still dizzy from the drug and could barely see five feet in front of her. She took shallow breaths to ease the pain in her ribs, hugging herself as she tried to stand up. Her legs gave out and she ended up in a heap on the concrete floor. She suppressed the tears as she sat up again. She looked inside her bag for her gun, but it was missing. Her wallet was still in there as well as the cash and credit cards she had. Her first instinct was to call Booth. But she didn't want him to know anything about what happened. She knew he would want her to report the attack, and even though she knew she should, she couldn't bring herself to call the police. She sat there for a few more moments and then successfully got to her feet. She fumbled with the door lock before she finally got it open. Falling into the driver's seat, she was out of breath. She fought the sleepy feeling as she stuck the keys in the ignition and started the car. She locked the doors immediately and sat in the running car and cried.

Back at home, it took her several minutes before she could get to the door and unlock it. Her broken ribs were making it increasingly hard to breathe and her head throbbed from the knot she could feel forming on her forehead. She glanced at the clock in the foyer as it ticked away the seconds: 4:42a.m. She tried to remember when she'd finally left the lab, but couldn't. So she had no idea how long she'd actually been gone before being left back in the parking garage. She dragged herself through the front living area to the master bedroom, where she dropped her bag and keys on the bed. She went into the bathroom and started the shower, getting the water as hot as she could stand it, before stepping inside. The continuous spray eased the tense muscles, making her relax a little as she stood there. She knew she was probably rinsing away evidence, and everything within her was screaming to get to the hospital, let the authorities know. But she couldn't. And she wouldn't. No one would ever know what had happened. After the shower, she called Cam and let her know that she was going to North Carolina for a while to see Russ and his family. She also called Booth, thankfully getting his voicemail, and left him the same message. And then she climbed into bed, pulling the blankets over her head, trying to shut out the pain and soreness that was slowly creeping in.

One Month Later

"Wow! Aren't you a sight for sore eyes," Angela said as she walked off the platform to greet her friend. "I have missed you so much!" Angela hugged Brennan tight and it was all she could do not to yell out from the pain in her ribs. It'd been a month, but her ribs were still sore.

"Glad to be back," Brennan replied. "I see I haven't missed the birth." Angela smiled.

"Only three more weeks," she replied, rubbing her round stomach. "And this baby can't come soon enough. She's been on my bladder the last month, I think. I have to pee every five minutes!" Brennan smiled.

"I'm sorry I missed your baby shower, though. I have you a gift," Brennan said, handing Angela an envelope. Inside was a scholarship to any university in the country. Angela looked at Brennan and smiled. No frilly baby gifts from Auntie Bones. She hugged Brennan again and said thanks. Then she walked off to show Jack the gift and left Brennan to walk to her office alone. Thankfully, the lab didn't seem busy and Booth hadn't called about any murders needing to be solved. Brennan sank down in her chair slowly and turned on her computer. As she let her month's worth of email load, she walked to limbo to get another set of remains. She worked on those for the better part of the day before Booth made his inevitable appearance.

"Hey Bones," Booth said, sliding up beside her. "How was North Carolina?" Brennan glanced at him out of the corner of her eye and shrugged.

"It was okay, I guess. Hot and humid. The girls were doing well. Russ has finally seemed to be back on his feet. He and Amy are having a baby." Booth stood close enough to Brennan that she could smell his cologne. She normally loved the smell of it, but today it made her nauseous. She walked around him to the other side of the table, hunching down over a small fragment of bone. As she made notations, Booth took the whole of her in. He knew that she hadn't been in North Carolina for the month because Max had called him out of worry, saying he hadn't heard from her. Booth reassured Max that she was alright, but looking at her, Booth couldn't be sure. Sure, she looked the same. Her brown hair was pulled back in a lose ponytail, her eyes were still green, but there was something Booth couldn't put his finger on.

"I was thinking of taking Parker to the park later on, would you like to join us? I know Parker would love to see his Auntie Bones," Booth said, smiling his mega-watt grin at her.

"I don't know, Booth. I've got so much unpacking to do and I really need to catalog these remains. You understand, don't you?" Booth released the breath he'd been holding and let the disappointment show on his face.

"I do. Some other time, then," he said, and then walked off the platform without as much as a parting glance. Brennan watched him walk out of the lab before looking back at the bones before her. Her mind was anywhere but the bones that lay on the table. Angela was watching the scene from her office doorway and sighed. Something was definitely off with her friend. She wanted to press the issue but knew that would get her nowhere. Turning around, she went back to the drawing she was doing for the baby. It was a carousel complete with horses, a giraffe, and some kangaroos. With no murder to solve, she didn't have much to do.

The next morning, Brennan woke up sick on her stomach. She barely made it to the bathroom before she could vomit in the toilet. As she sat with her back against the tub, she tried to think about over the past several days to pinpoint exactly what she'd eaten that would've made her so sick, but didn't come up with anything substantial. Being a vegetarian meant not getting food poisoning from undercooked meat. Then a thought started to creep into her mind. One that made her flush and break out in a cold sweat. She jumped up off the floor and walked to her calendar. A red 'x' was marked on the day she should've started...six days previous. She felt faint as the realization almost knocked the wind out of her. On the way to the lab, she stopped in a drug store and bought a test. Anxiety made the nausea worse as she watched the stick show one pink line and then two. She grabbed a couple paper towels and wet them, pressing them to her forehead so she wouldn't faint. She blinked back the tears that she knew were hormone related as she grabbed her cell phone. After the made the appointment, she finally felt some relief. In a few days, the problem would be taken care of and her life would go back to normal.

Booth tried to call Brennan for the third time that morning. As with the other two times, his call went straight to voicemail. Slamming the phone down, he grabbed his suit coat off the back of his chair and stalked out of the FBI building. He drove quickly to the lab, where he found her again leaning over some bones, most likely the same bones, as she had been the day before.

"I've been trying to call you, "Booth announced as he walked onto the platform, setting the alarm off. Brennan glared at him.

"Well, you should know I would be here. This is where I am every other day of the week," she replied curtly. Booth grabbed her arm and led her off the platform, and into her office. Slamming the door, he turned to look at her. If looks could kill, he'd be dead, he was sure of it.

"What the hell do you think you're doing, waltzing in here like you own the place?" Brennan said, trying to walk past him but he blocked her path to the door.

"Look. I'm sorry. I've been worried about you. You won't return my phone calls or my messages. We hardly ever see each other anymore. And then there's this," Booth said, handing a yellow file folder to her. "I've already mentioned it to Cam and there's been an increase in security around here. You are not to walk to your car alone until this perp is caught." Brennan blanched as she looked through the folder. One of the interns from Paleontology had been raped in the parking garage the week before. Guilt filled Brennan as she read through the report. She wondered if it had been the same attacked, but the m.o. appeared to be identical to her own attack. She fought back the sob that threatened and handed the folder back to Booth. Without looking him in the eye, she sat down on the sofa. Booth noticed the immediate change in her nature, but didn't mention it. He sat down on the sofa beside her, the folder between them.

"I know you weren't in North Carolina," Booth said softly. "Max called me worried sick about you. I made sure you were alright and told him so, but respected your need for privacy. I don't know what's going on with you, but you know I'm here if you need me, right?" Brennan nodded her head, but didn't return Booth's gaze. He sighed and grabbed the folder as he stood up. "If you want, I can come back by here on my way home; make sure you get to your car okay."

"I'll be fine, Booth," Brennan replied. "Thanks for letting me know." Booth nodded and walked out of her office. Again, something didn't sit right with him but he didn't press it, knowing it wouldn't do any good if he did.

The day of the appointment, Brennan paced her apartment, feeling nervous. She didn't understand why, since all it amounted to was a mass of cells. It wasn't like she was killing a live human being. It wasn't even a human yet. But she still felt anxious. The drive over to the clinic wasn't much better and she had to vomit once she got into the office. As she washed her face and rinsed her mouth in the bathroom sink, she broke out in a cold sweat. As she debated rescheduling her appointment, her phone rang. She wouldn't have answered it, but it was Angela.

"Auntie Bones, it's time," Jack said giddily into the phone. "We are on our way to the hospital and wanted to let you know so you could head over there, too." Brennan was quiet. She looked at her watch. The procedure would take not more than half an hour and then she could be on her way to the hospital. The baby wouldn't come that quick, with it being Angela's first time. She'd have plenty of time to have the abortion and go to the hospital. "Dr. B? You there?" Brennan cleared her throat.

"Yes, I'm here. I'm on my way," she replied. "Tell Ang to hold tight til I get there."

"Will do. See you soon." Brennan pushed the button to end the call and glanced at her watch again. She knew in an instant that if the roles were reversed, Angela would drop everything to be by her friend's side. And Brennan was going to do the exact same for her. She went out to the counter, rescheduled her appointment for the next day and left.

Once Brennan arrived, she was glad that she hadn't decided to keep the appointment because Angela was almost ready for delivery once she got there. They'd already prepped her and she was strapped to the fetal monitor. Brennan glanced at the print-outs and smiled; the baby had a strong heartbeat and everything seemed to be going smoothly.

"I'm so glad you're here, sweetie," Angela said through clenched teeth as a contraction hit.

"I'm glad, too. Is there anything you need?"

"Just this baby to come out," Angela hissed. "All the books I've read never prepared me for the pain." Jack placed a wet rag on Angela's forehead and whispered in her ear, trying to soothe her.

"I'm going to find the doctor. Maybe it's not too late for them to give you something for pain," Brennan said, and she walked out of the door in search of Angela's doctor. She almost ran smack into Booth as they were both rounding the same corner.

"Hey, Bones. We're gonna have a baby today, I hear," Booth said, grinning. Brennan had to grin in response to his enthusiasm.

"It appears so. Have you seen Dr. Lidner?" Brennan asked, looking past Booth down the hall.

"I think he was with Cam just a minute ago. Why? Is everything okay?"

"Things are great. Angela's just in a bit of pain and I was hoping that she could get the epidural before it's too late."

"I'll find him. You go back in there. By the way, Bones. Happy birthday," he replied, giving her a small box. She'd been so busy that she'd forgotten her own birthday. She looked down at the box, tears swimming in her eyes but when she looked back to say something to Booth, he'd already gone back down the hall. Sighing, she slipped the box in her pants pocket and went back into the room.

Within moments, Dr. Lidner was there, but by then, it was deemed too late for the epidural. He offered Angela other pain medications, but she declined to have anything. So, during the contractions, Brennan watched the fetal monitor to let Angela know when it was subsiding and Jack held her hand. He wondered out loud once if his hand was even going to survive the birth. Angela laughed and squeezed his hand harder. Dr. Lidner came back to check on Angela once per hour until it was time for her to push. At exactly six p.m. little Catherine Temperance was born with a head full of dark curls and piercing blue eyes.

"She's beautiful, Ang," Brennan said, fighting back tears. "Perfect." Angela looked up at her friend beaming with tears running down her cheeks. Jack took the baby from the waiting nurse and put her into Angela's arms. A perfect little family, Brennan thought as she quietly backed out of the room. Once inside the hallway, she sank down onto the floor and put her head on her knees. How in the world could she go through the procedure knowing that the mass of cells inside her stomach would turn into something as miraculous as baby Catherine? She pulled out her cell phone and dialed the number to the clinic before she had a chance to change her mind. Once the appointment was canceled, she breathed a sigh of relief. A month ago, Brennan thought she could continue on as if nothing had happened. But now, she realized, her life hadn't been the same since that night. And she could dwell on the negativity of that horrible attack all she wanted, but she couldn't place the blame on the embryo that now inhabited her body. Suddenly remembering, she grabbed the gift box out of her pocket and opened it. Inside the box was...


	2. Chapter 2

Brennan fingered the necklace around her neck as she waited for Booth to meet her. She glanced down at the gold heart-shaped locket again and smiled. She opened it and looked at the tiny pictures of her and her mother and father. Booth had outdone himself this time, she thought as she closed the locket. It'd been a week since he'd given her the necklace and they hadn't been able to see each other since.

BB

Booth and Brennan sat at the bar of the Founding Fathers. Brennan sipped her water as Booth took a draw off his beer. If Booth noticed that she'd traded in wine for water, he didn't mention it.

"So, how's everything been going at the lab? Can't believe we haven't had a case to work on in a few weeks," Booth said, looking at Brennan. She looked a little paler these days, but other than that, he hadn't noticed anything amiss. Except she'd started keeping more to herself, seemed more guarded. He'd try to press a couple times but if she hadn't bit his head off, she'd just stayed silent.

"Pretty boring, I guess. Anymore attacks?" Brennan didn't return Booth's gaze. He wanted to take her in his arms and hold her to make everything better. But if she wasn't talking to him, she sure wouldn't

like him touching her.

"Only one other one, but thankfully, the woman was able to fight him off. We got a really good description of the vehicle, though. And she was able to tell us about some tattoos the guy had. They're working on leads now," Booth replied. "I'll feel much better once he gets off the streets, though. Whether you like it or not, we're friends and I worry about you."

"I'll be fine, Booth. Don't know how many times I have to say it before you'll believe it," Brennan said, holding her glass. It was still full and condensation was beading up on the side and sliding down. She grabbed a paper napkin and placed the glass on top of it. Just then, Booth's phone chirped.

"Booth. Okay, I'll be right there." Booth closed his phone and looked at his partner. "I've got to go to the office, want me to drop you off at the lab?" Brennan shook her head.

"No, I need to go talk to Caroline about something anyway. Isn't her office still on the third floor?"

"Sure is," Booth replied, laying a five dollar bill on the bar for their tab. "Let's go."

Booth drove quickly to the FBI building and parked in his reserved parking space. Once they were inside the building, they took the elevator up to the third floor where Brennan would meet Caroline. They exited the elevator as two agents with a suspect got on. The suspect, tattoos covering his arms, took one look at Brennan and smiled.

"I know you," he said. Brennan noticed his front two teeth were missing and he had severe body odor. Booth put his hand up to stop the elevator from closing. The agents looked at him like he was crazy, but Booth didn't notice. He was glaring at the man between them.

"What do you mean you know her?" Booth asked, glaring at him.

"I know you," the man replied, not taking his eyes off Brennan. She felt her skin crawl and the feeling of de ja vu was unnerving.

"This here, Agent Booth, is Jasper Jenkins. We have evidence to believe he's the rapist that has been targeting parking garages all over D.C.," one of the agents spoke up. Booth put his hand up to stop the door from closing again.

"The man who attacked that woman at the Jeffersonian?" The agent nodded. Booth looked at Brennan, who was white as a sheet.

"Bones. Do you know this man?" Booth's brown eyes peered into her own. She tried to formulate the lie, but it wouldn't pass her lips. "Bones?" The man was still glaring at her with the wicked grin on his face. Brennan lunged at him, nailing him with a punch to the face and then kicking him in the groin. The agents that were with him just stood by watching her before Booth picked her up and dragged her out of the elevator. This time, he let the doors shut.

"I think its time we had a talk," Booth said, leading her to Caroline's office. Caroline was on the phone and looked angry at the interruption, but quickly ended her call anyway.

"Agent Booth. Dr. Brennan. To what do I owe this pleasure?" Booth sat Brennan down in a plush seat opposite Caroline's desk and he perched on the corner, facing her.

"I heard they caught the man they believed attacked those women around area parking garages," Booth said, not taking his gaze off Brennan.

"Yep," Caroline replied, getting out of her chair and stuffing a folder into her briefcase. "I've got to go to the judge right now and schedule the arraignment."

"It can wait," Booth replied. Caroline glared at Booth and then looked at Brennan. "Something going on? Love spat perhaps?" Booth shook his head.

"I'm thinking there's another victim that we haven't interviewed yet," Booth replied, looking at Brennan. Her face flushed with anger. Caroline looked at Brennan again.

"Uh huh," she said, sitting her stuff down and grabbing a note pad. "Go on."

"Yea, Bones. Why don't you tell Caroline here how that man knows you?"

"Why are you being so mean, Booth? This has nothing to do with you or your ego!" Brennan spat. She was embarrassed for being put on the spot and for being forced to talk about something she had no intentions of ever talking about to anyone. But she knew, even though she'd never seen her attacker's face, that the man the FBI had in custody had indeed attacked her. Booth didn't reply to her comment which made her know that he was angry.

"Fine!" Brennan got up and started pacing. "I was walking to my car the night of April 5th. Wendell and I were cataloging some remains from limbo and I let him leave earlier in the evening. I don't remember what time I left the lab, I just remembered walking to my car, chloroform being placed over my face and then waking up some time later back at my car. I don't know what happened in between."

"I assume since you didn't report this to the proper authorities, you at least kept evidence. I'd like to have it analyzed by our lab here," Caroline replied, jotting down notes. Brennan didn't look at Booth when she said "I didn't keep any evidence." Caroline's pen stopped moving on the pad and she looked up.

"You mean, you, the brilliant scientist, who has the job of catching murderers based on evidence didn't keep any at all?" Brennan shook her head. "Well, that makes this case a slam dunk." Caroline closed her pad and put the cap back on her pen. "Look, Dr. Brennan. I am sorry this happened to you. I really am. But without evidence linking that man to your attack, there's nothing I can do. My hands are tied." Brennan cleared her throat.

"There is something else," she said, purposely avoiding Booth. She understood that he wanted to be her protector and that it hurt him to have all this kept from him by her, but he had to understand why she did it.

"I'm..." Brennan took a deep breath. "I'm pregnant." Booth shot up off the desk as if his rear end was on fire. He stalked out of Caroline's office, slamming the door.

"Now that's a horse of a different color," Caroline said, walking around the desk to stand in front of Brennan. Brennan looked at her confusingly.

"I don't know what that means."

"It means, cherie, that if we can get a DNA sample from that little bun in your oven, we can try to match it with Mr. Jenkins. And if it's a match, well, as they say, the rest is history." Brennan nodded and grabbed her bag. "Wait, Dr. Brennan." Brennan stopped at the door and turned.

"I know I can seem like a real mean woman sometimes, but I really am sorry this happened to you. And if I succeed, I'll make sure this guy rots in hell for what he did to you and those other women."

"Thanks." Brennan walked out of Caroline's office and stood in front of the bank of elevators waiting for the next one. She never thought that telling her story would be such a release, but it was like the weight had been finally lifted. She pushed the 'down' button once again. She didn't realize Booth was standing beside her until he spoke.

"I wished you would've come to me about this, Bones. You know I would do anything for you," he said softly. She looked at him, but he didn't look at her.

"I know you would, Booth. Which is exactly why I didn't come to you, or anyone. I didn't want anyone doing anything for me. I just wanted it to all be over," she replied. She watched the elevator door as it opened, but she didn't step inside. Booth put his arm around Brennan and squeezed.

"We're partners. If you need to lean on me, it's okay. No one's going to think less of you if you do," Booth replied. "You did it for me, remember?" Brennan knew he was referring to Hannah. She leaned her head against his shoulder and sighed.

"I'm sorry Booth," she said.

"It's okay," he replied, kissing the top of her head. Her hair smelled faintly of strawberries. He could feel that he was on the precipice of something big if he'd just take the leap. His free hand tilted her chin up to face him and he bent down.


	3. Chapter 3

_I had some inspiration today...two chapters in one day!_

* * *

><p>Booth tilted Brennan's head so she was looking up at him. She knew he was going to kiss her, but she wasn't exactly sure how she felt about it. But it didn't matter. He read the indecision in her eyes and pulled away. Brennan released the breath she'd been holding and looked back at the elevator as the doors closed.<p>

"Well," Booth said, releasing Brennan and clasping his hands behind his back.

"Well," Brennan replied. After a few moments, she said, "I guess I need to get back to the lab."

"Want me to drive you?" Brennan shook her head.

"I'll call a cab. The bad guy's here now, remember?" Booth nodded and smiled.

"I'll call you later," Booth said, watching Brennan get into the elevator. His heart ached as the doors closed. He hated being in limbo with her; where they are almost a couple, but not quite. He wanted to tell her again how much he cared about her, but knew it wasn't the time. He thought about calling Sweets, but decided against it. He hadn't need advice about women his whole life; he wasn't going to start asking now.

BB

When Brennan got back to the lab, she called to make the appointment for her first prenatal visit. The first appointment they had was a few weeks away and by that time, they'd be able to perform the amniocentesis to get the DNA sample that Caroline would need. When she hung up the phone, she sighed. She really wanted to call Booth and talk to him about everything. Now that it was all out in the open, she felt the need to explain. She knew that Booth would be hurt that she didn't come to him, not that she blamed him. She picked up the phone to call him and when he didn't answer, she left him a voicemail to call her back. She didn't want to rehash it all over the phone, so maybe she would pick up Thai on the way over to his apartment. Smiling, she walked up the platform to help Nigel Murray with the remains he was working on.

BB

"So what you're saying, Caroline, is that even if the baby does prove to be his, he's already got his defense in mind? He's going to actually say that Bones willingly slept with him?" Booth was dumbfounded and more than a little angry. He fought the urge to hang up the receiver while she was talking about how he said it was consensual and how it'll just come down to whomever the jury believes. Caroline was pretty much telling Booth that she didn't want to risk him not being convicted.

After Caroline hung up, Booth leaned back in his chair with his hands behind his head and closed his eyes. Bones had been through enough without having this wrench thrown in things. He listened to the voicemail she'd left him and sighed. He wondered if there'd ever be a time when...he knew better than to let himself go down that path. When he did, he only ended up feeling disappointment and sadness. Gathering his suit jacket, he left his office. He really wanted to head down to the holding cell that Mr. Jenkins was in and beat him to a pulp, but he refrained and instead drove to the only place, other than being with Parker, that made him feel at home.

BB

"Booth! What are you doing here?" Cam asked as she saw him pass by her office. He stuck his head in and smiled.

"Have you seen Bones? I can't find her," he said and Cam smiled back at him. She wondered, with a little jealousy, if she'd ever find someone who felt the way Booth felt about Dr. Brennan.

"I think I saw her a little while ago in limbo," Cam replied. Booth waved to Cam and walked towards limbo. He found her looking through a bin of brittle bones. Her hair was pulled back in a loose ponytail and her face was pure concentration. He cleared his throat to let her know he was there since he didn't want to startle her.

"Hey Booth. Did you get my message?""

"Yea. Do you think we could get together tonight? Talk?" Brennan looked at Booth.

"Sure, Want me to grab some Thai on my way over?" Brennan asked, putting the bones back in the box and putting the box up.

"Yea. That sounds great," Booth replied, leaning up against the door frame. "I'll see you this evening then." Brennan nodded and then went to grab another set of remains.

BB

Later that evening, after Booth and Brennan were finished eating, they lounged on the sofa; him on one end and her on the other. Booth flipped through the channels, but neither of them could find anything they really wanted to watch; so he cut it off.

"So...I talked with Caroline today," Booth said, glancing at Brennan.

"I made my appointment for the amniocentesis. It's in a few weeks," Brennan replied.

"That's good. You nervous?" Booth asked, thankful for the change in direction. He didn't really want to relay to her that the case wouldn't go to trial and that the man responsible would never be charged.

"I am a little nervous, but I've read all about it. Nothing to it," Brennan replied. She folded her legs up underneath her. "What did Caroline have to say?"

"I'm sorry, Bones," Booth said, sliding closer to her. "Caroline isn't going to press charges against him for your attack."

"But…" Brennan interrupted. Booth held his hand up.

"I know, Bones, I know. But he is saying it was consensual and even though we all know it wasn't, there isn't any evidence saying otherwise." Tears sprang to Brennan's eyes and she blinked them back.

"I don't understand. I am pregnant. What more evidence do they need?"

"Bones, you don't need me to tell you how the jury can swing one way or another, sometimes in the wrong way. All the evidence was stacked against Max and yet the jury found him not guilty. Caroline doesn't want to risk gaining convictions for the other attacks if he's acquitted for yours." Brennan turned her head away from Booth, tears running down her cheeks. Booth turned her head back to face him, looking deep in her eyes. "You know I would do anything for you, Bones. I would kill that bastard in a heartbeat. I…" The words hung in the air between them; all Booth had to do was give them life. And he wanted to; wanted to let her know how much he loved her. He took her face in his hands and kissed her softly on the lips. When he pulled back, he looked at her, anticipating the rejection. Instead, Brennan kissed him back. She kissed him just as softly at first before their embrace became passionate. Booth led her to the bedroom where they made love; both feeling as if they were two souls finally joined into one.


	4. Chapter 4

The next morning, Brennan woke up in Booth's bed alone. She blinked several times as the sunlight gleamed through the mini-blinds. She looked to Booth's side of the bed and saw the slip of paper he'd left on the pillow. '_Call me when you wake up. We have a case. Booth.' _Anger immediately surged through Brennan as she threw off the blanket, grabbed her clothes and tried to put them on as she stalked through the apartment. She grabbed her cell phone, wanting to call Booth and give him a piece of her mind, yet she didn't. She knew that Booth wouldn't exclude her from a case on purpose. And she had been very tired…afterwards. Brennan felt a blush creep up her neck as she started to recall the night before. It'd been everything she'd needed and more. She fought back the smile and left Booth's apartment.

BB

"I'm sorry I didn't wake you earlier," Booth whispered out of earshot of everyone else in the lab. "You looked so peaceful and I knew you've had a rough couple of months. Plus, it turned out it was nothing."

"Its okay, Booth," Brennan replied.

"Are you going to go ahead with the amniocentesis since Caroline isn't pressing charges?" Booth asked, taking Brennan's arm and guiding her toward her office.

"I don't need it. I know who its father is. But, I'm going ahead with the test anyway. Maybe Caroline can use it in some form or fashion," Brennan said, walking into her office and sitting at her desk. Booth looked at Brennan and sighed. He'd loved holding her in his arms the night before, loved showing her exactly how much he cared about her. But by her demeanor, he still saw he had a long way to go. No matter, he thought to himself. He was around for the long term. Whatever she needed, he'd be it.

"Well, I'm going back to the office. If you need anything, call me," Booth said as he backed out of Brennan's office. She glanced up at him and he thought he saw the smallest hint of a smile.

BB

A month later, Booth was with Brennan as the amniocentesis was performed. Since Caroline wasn't going to press charges against Jasper Jenkins, she also couldn't get a warrant for a DNA sample. However, when the DNA was ran through the FBI database, it matched up with the man they already had in custody. Brennan felt immense relief, even though she'd known all along that Jasper had been the one who attacked her. The details of the night were still shady; however, bits and pieces were starting to come back.

Several weeks later, when Brennan finally received the results of the amnio, she was five months along. She read the letter and smiled. Brennan had already entertained the idea that her child may be born with some severe deformity, given its father. However, the amnio revealed that the child was completely healthy and, as a side note, male. Brennan was having a boy. She leaned back in her desk chair, placing her hand on her small bump. She hadn't told anyone at the Jeffersonian about the baby, even Angela, although Brennan was sure that people were looking at her differently. As slim as Brennan was, it was getting more difficult hiding the growing bump, even under bigger clothes. She sighed as she realized the time had come. Telling Booth and Caroline had been one thing; telling her closest friends would be something different.

BB

Cam looked up from her work as Brennan walked into her office.

"Hey Dr. Brennan. Have a seat," Cam said, gesturing to the chair across from her desk. Brennan sat.

"I have something that I need to tell you," Brennan started and then Cam's phone rang. Cam held up her finger to stall Brennan and answered the phone.

"That was Booth. He said that they'd found a body. And he told me to tell you that under no circumstances are you to come to the site," Cam said, looking more than a little confused. Brennan felt her cheeks flush as she nodded and stood up.

"I will be in my office if anyone needs me," Brennan replied walking out of the office. Cam called after her and Brennan turned around.

"Wasn't there something you needed to tell me?"

"It's not important right now," Brennan answered and then turned away.

BB

Booth met Cam at her car.

"What've we got?" Cam asked as she walked beside Booth toward a shallow-looking grave.

"Hunters found the body of a young woman. A leg happened to be sticking out of the shallow grave. It's still…meaty…so I thought it'd be best to have you here instead of Bones," Booth replied and Cam stared at him.

"You always have Bones with you on the site, regardless of the state of the decedent," Cam said.

"This time is different," Booth said, and then he walked toward a man in a hunter's fatigues and a rifle, putting some space between him and Cam's questions.

Once Cam examined the body as best she could, it was loaded, along with soil samples, into the coroner's van to be taken back to the Jeffersonian. After Cam and Booth got back to the lab, almost everyone had gone home for the day. Jack stuck around knowing that he was needed to test the soil samples and Wendell was there as well. Booth looked for Brennan but noticed her office light was out. He left the platform and dialed her number. She answered on the first ring.

"Booth. Do you need me at the lab?" Booth rubbed his face with his free hand.

"No, Bones. It is best you stay home tonight."

"I don't understand, Booth. Just because I'm pregnant, doesn't mean I can't go out into the field with you anymore. I'm perfectly capable of still doing my job," Brennan replied curtly and Booth could tell he'd hurt her feelings.

"It isn't that, Bones. I know you can work circles around most anyone, even in your condition. It's just that…" Booth paused, unsure if he should voice his thoughts out loud or not.

"What is it, Booth?"


	5. Chapter 5

"The victim is a young woman. Preliminary tests shows that she was attacked," Booth replied, sitting in his chair in his office and leaning back.

"I've went to scenes like this before, Booth. I don't understand the significance," Brennan replied. She turned the stereo on to some soothing music before going back into the kitchen. She'd thought about inviting Booth over for dinner, but hadn't. She still was unsure about their standing and didn't want to do anything until she could sort out her feelings. With the pregnancy and the attack, she had more than enough on her plate to think about.

"It's just a hunch, Bones. Nothing more. I can't say that it isn't one of Jenkins' victims," he sighed.

"As usual, you are relying on your gut instead of facts. There are many attacks in D.C. What are the odds that this one would be tied to someone in prison?" Sighing, she leaned against the marble counter.

"I know, Bones. I can't explain it. It's probably nothing. I'll pick you up in the morning and drive you to the lab. I'm sorry for keeping you from the scene."

"I know you have some misguided white knight syndrome going on…"

"You don't believe in psychology and no, I don't have to have some 'white knight syndrome' to care about my partner."

"I've been taking care of myself my entire life, Booth. "

"I know. I'm just worried, okay?"

"Ok, duly noted." Brennan pushed off the counter and walked to the fridge, trying to settle on something to eat. She knew the fetus needed nutrients, but talk of Jasper Jenkins had left her without an appetite.

"One more thing," Booth said hesitantly. "Hannah stopped by my office this morning while I was gone. " Brennan bristled at the name, thinking of the time she had put into helping Booth pick up the pieces after Hannah had broken his heart. However, if Booth was expecting a reaction because they'd slept together, he wasn't getting one.

"That's nice," Brennan said. "What did she need?"

"She didn't say. Didn't leave a note or anything. One of the other agents just mentioned it to me," he replied. He hoped seeing her again wouldn't drudge up more drama. He wouldn't be lying if he admitted that her rejection still smarted a little.

"Ok. " Silence filled the line.

"I'll talk to you tomorrow, Bones," Booth said. "Have a good night."

Once he hung up the phone, Brennan sighed. Hannah coming back into Booth's life was unwelcome at best. For no rational reason jealousy reared its ugly head. She didn't know why; Booth wasn't hers. After Hannah, though, Booth had felt like hers. Shaking her head, she left the kitchen without eating and went to bed.

BB

Booth startled awake as his phone continued to chirp. He wished he hadn't answered.

"Hey Booth," she said and she had the good sense to sound contrite. "I know I'm probably the last person you wanted to hear from. But I wanted to let you know that I'm getting married." Booth sat up in the bed, feeling as if he'd been punched in the gut. Before he knew what he was doing, he ended the call. Deep seated anger bubbled up along with the hurt. He hated having his worst fears confirmed over and over again. Why didn't anyone want forever with him?

BB

Assembling everyone on the platform the next day, Brennan felt anxious as she shared her news.

"I was raped by Jasper Jenkins." She let that statement hang in the air. Angry curses rose up. Angela was instantly at her side.

"Oh sweetie, why didn't you tell us?"

"There's more," Brennan said, opening her lab coat. She'd purposely worn a snug fitting blouse to accentuate the small bump. Gasps followed. They each, in turn, murmured their encouragement as they hugged her.

"Booth knows, right?" Angela asked, keeping her arm around her friend.

"Yes."

"Why wasn't your name on the victim list?" Cam asked.

"Caroline wouldn't prosecute."

"That doesn't sound like Caroline."

"She said since there was no evidence of the attack and he maintained it was consensual, she didn't want to risk the convictions on the other cases if my case was dismissed," Brennan said calmly.

"Why wouldn't you go to the hospital?" Cam asked indignantly. Brennan paled.

"Are you seriously asking her that?" Hodgins asked, his voice dripping with anger.

"I was ashamed. I wanted to keep this whole ordeal to myself. If I'd ever thought that anyone else would be attacked and certainly that I would get pregnant, I would have done differently. I wasn't thinking clearly, as you can imagine," Brennan said and stalked off the platform. Angela narrowed her eyes at Cam.

"I can't believe you just did that," she said, and walked off.

Once inside her office, Brennan shut the door and headed for the couch. Tears pricked her eyes but she held them back. For so long, she'd been immersed in cold, hard facts leaving emotions out of the mix. Now, she was all emotion. A few moments went by before the knock on the door Brennan was expecting occurred. But it wasn't Angela.

"Hey Bones," Booth said, sitting down beside her. She could keep her emotions in check almost always, but never in front of him. A tear slipped down her cheek. He leaned back, pulling Brennan into his arms. A tear turned into a torrent and before she knew it, she was crying. She may've been irritated with herself for the display of emotion, but she was powerless against it.

"You've cried more in the past five months that I've seen you cry in ages," Booth joked. Brennan laughed as she sat up, wiping her eyes with the heel of her hands.

"I'm sorry," she said, "Hormones."

"Cam told me what she said to you, Temperance. She's beside herself with guilt, but I had words with her anyway," he said.

"What brings you by?" Brennan asked, getting up to grab some tissues. Booth walked to Brennan's desk and perched on the corner. He didn't meet her eyes.

"Hannah called me this morning," he said and Brennan tensed, anger rising.

"What did she want?" Brennan tried hard to keep the disdain out of her voice, but was unsuccessful.

Booth looked at her, pain in his eyes. "She called to tell me she's getting married." His face fell. "I don't understand, Bones."

"I wished I had something to say, but I don't have anything but overused platitudes. I do know, however, that you are a good man, Booth. Better than most. The best man I've had the pleasure of knowing." Booth looked at her.

"Then why have you written me off like the others? I'm a good man, but not good enough for Dr. Brennan?" Brennan's heart squeezed. "I love you, Bones. You know that. I've been in love with you for a long time. I could ignore it when Hannah was around. I poured my heart and soul into that relationship and look where it got me? I've only ever wanted you." Brennan bowed her head and turned away. Booth stood and picked up the remaining pieces of his ego. "I may love you, but I'm not going to beg you to love me back."

He silently pleased for her to look at him, but she didn't. His face fell.

"I'm sorry I bothered you, Dr. Brennan." With that, Booth walked out.


	6. Chapter 6

Angela passed Booth as he walked out of Brennan's office. She looked from one partner to the other.

"What's going on here?" she asked. Brennan shook her head.

"Nothing. What do you have there?" Work. It always distracted Brennan from the real world. Angela sighed, but said nothing.

BB

Life continued on, the partners put their feelings aside to close the case. The world kept turning, life went on. Booth hadn't pushed her anymore and she hadn't brought it up. Even though they worked well together on the surface, tension brewed like a storm. Everyone around them could feel it. Anytime they were together, the air seemed to prickle with it. Bickering increased, and after the case was closed (not one of Jenkins' victims, by the way) they spent several weeks apart.

One night, while looking for solace (and fries), Brennan went to the diner. The waitress, a brown haired older woman, took her order of tea and soup. The weather outside was warm. Even so, she was cold. She pulled the sweater tight around her. Looking outside the window, she let her mind wander. She missed Booth. Really missed him.

What did love mean anyway? It couldn't be measured, that was fact. But was it any less real because of it? She thought back to when she was young, when her parents were seemingly normal. She remembered how loved she felt; how full and encompassing that love was.

She exhaled and thanked the waitress for bringing her order. She was dipping the spoon into her soup when she felt a twinge of pain and the tightness in her abdomen. She paused, waiting for another contraction and when it didn't come, she resumed sipping the warm broth. She sat there long after the waitress had taken the dishes away, lost in thought. When her phone chirped, it startled her. She grabbed it from her pocket. It was Angela. With her melancholy mood, she shut the phone off.

She got up to pay when another contraction hit, stronger than the first. She leaned against the table for support as it ebbed. Taking a deep breath, she slowly walked towards the cashier.

"Are you okay honey? You look a bit pale," the cashier said, looking concerned. She nodded, the smile she'd managed fading on her lips as another contraction hit. Brennan threw a twenty on the counter and walked out, fighting tears and clutching her stomach. When she got to the car, she called the only person she wanted with her.

BB

Booth burst through the automatic doors of the hospital, startling the nurse at check in. He flashed his badge and was given the information he needed. Pressing the elevator button multiple times, he tapped his foot impatiently. The doors finally opened and he almost knocked down the doctor exiting. On the fourth floor, he left the elevator and ran to her room.

Brennan was lying on the bed, monitors everywhere. Her face was ashen and her hair was damp with sweat. When she saw him, she broke, tears running down her cheeks. He didn't say anything; just pulled her into his arms. But then Brennan pulled away, yelling for the nurse.

"The heart rate is falling," she cried. "Please! Do something, anything." The nurse paged the doctor, but when he arrived a minute later, it was too late. Time stood still as Booth watched as Brennan was forced to deliver the tiny infant. Tears pricked his eyes as he held Brennan, her body shaking with her sobs. His heart broke as he watched her say goodbye to her stillborn son. And when the nurse took him away, he knew her wailing could be heard throughout the halls.

BB

Brennan was discharged from the hospital a few days later. Booth helped her into the SUV and drove her home. Once inside, Brennan went to the couch and sat. She heard Booth go about busy work in the kitchen. She knew he would smother her when all she really wanted was to be alone.

"Here," Booth said, handing Brennan a cup. "Drink this. It is Sleepy Time tea. You'll need your rest."

Brennan sat the cup on the coffee table in front of her and looked at Booth. She wondered if she looked as bad as he did. He had a few days' worth of stubble and he looked exhausted. She wondered then how long it had been since he slept. She couldn't remember seeing him sleep at all.

"Aren't you tired?" she asked softly. Her throat was still raw. She took a sip of the tea and it felt like heaven as it slid down her throat.

Booth shook his head, but the following yawn gave him away. "I needed to stay awake in case you needed something," he said by way of explanation.

"You know I'll be fine, right? The pregnancy was a mistake." Her voice cracked. Booth went to put his arms around her and she got up, walking to her bedroom to put space between them. "Don't."

He got up and followed her, but kept his distance.

"I know you're trying to help and I appreciate it. But I just want to be alone."

"I'm not going anywhere Temperance. I'll sleep on the couch. I'll cook for you; I'll do anything you need. Except go. I'm not leaving." His tone brooked no argument. She didn't have the energy anyway. She nodded and then went into her bathroom, locking the door.

He gave her space. He cooked meals that at first went uneaten. He vacuumed and did the laundry. He hovered, but didn't suffocate. He hoped, with time, she'd become Bones again.

She didn't.

A month later, she left the Jeffersonian. She sold her apartment; said her goodbyes. Then left for parts unknown. In his heart, he knew she'd come back to him. He would give her time and he would wait. Because she was worth waiting for.


	7. Chapter 7

Ten Years Later

Even after ten years, the platform looked the same, the people were the same, but it felt like someone punched him in the gut every time he had to walk through those sliding doors. He bundled up the stairs to the platform, swiping his access card as he went. When he saw the familiar curve of her body, he stopped dead.

She turned around to look at him and his breathing halted. She was there, in the flesh, in front of him. Her blue eyes were still blue. Her hair was shorter, cut into a bob that barely brushed her shoulders. She was still as beautiful. His heart seemed to forget how to pump blood and he felt dizzy.

"You need a chair, Booth? You look pale," she said nonchalantly. Like she hadn't been gone for ten years. Like it was any other day. He opened his mouth to speak and then shut it. Opened it once more and shut it again. Words failed him. Thankfully, he was saved by Angela. Seeing his shocked expression, she pulled him away to her office as Booth tried, and failed, to keep his eyes off Brennan.

Once inside the confines of her office, however, the spell was broken and his speech returned.

"What the hell is going on here? Did anyone think to tell me she was home?"

"Look, Booth. She just got home a couple of days ago. She's pretty much been here or home. We'd thought it best to wait for her to tell you," Angela said, gesturing through the glass.

"She is back to her old self, ordering around the new interns we have. And she's pretty much moved Clark out of her office. "Angela chuckled when she recalled Clark's blustering, his pleading look at Cam. "She's still the same Brennan." Booth had to disagree. She wasn't the same woman who'd walked out of their, lives. Though her hair cut seemed stylish, it wasn't as shiny as hers used to be, she seemed to have lost about twenty pounds, and she just seemed different.

"Look at her, Angela. She isn't the same Bones. She looks different," Booth surmised. "I'll even bet she's acting different. Booth looked thoughtfully out of the glass. "I can't believe she didn't call me." She still worked methodically, trying to discern changes that would be invisible to almost anyone else. Still seeking out the truth even if it was on a thousand year old skeleton.

"Well, she is a little more like the old school Brennan; shutting herself down emotionally and lacking empathy. Come to think of it, though, I haven't seen her smile since she's been home."

Angela looked sternly at Booth. "Don't push her, Booth," she said, as he walked out of her office. She knew he heard her, but didn't know if it made a difference.

BB

Seeing him was like seeing the sun after rain. She was shocked at the jolt of feeling he called up inside of her. She was sure, after all these years, that he would have no effect on her. That the deep emotional connection they had had would be gone. She was wrong. The thought irritated her and she knew if he confronted her, head on, like it looked like he was intending, she'd explode. Why, she didn't know. Anger, surely. Anger for dredging up those feelings, the past. Awareness she never wanted to feel again; the pain, the loss, the feeling that she'd never be what Booth needed. That's why she went half way around the world. To escape the loss and the pain. She should've known not to come back at all. But she'd needed to.

"Booth," she said brusquely, keeping her eyes focused on the femur she was examining. She avoided looking into those brown eyes. Even though she knew it was physically impossible, she knew he would be able to see into her soul. See the heartache that was still there. He would see the depth of emotion she still had. She still wouldn't classify it as love. However, for ten full years, he was all she could think about. She missed him so much while she was gone. So much so that she'd had to force herself not to call, because she knew if she heard his voice, she'd be on a plane home. She would never forgive herself for the pain she had put them all through. But especially Booth. He was an emotional creature. She hoped, for her sake, his pain had faded long ago. Because if it had, it would make it easier on her. And she could use a little easy right now.

BB

"Bones, may I have a word with you?" Booth ignored the glimpses from the interns. He ignored the glimpses from Hodgins and Cam. He ignored them all. As it had been for years, he had eyes only for her.

"I'm kinda busy here, Booth. Maybe later," she said firmly. But he wasn't going to be deterred. He walked up to her, grabbed her arm and practically dragged her from the platform. She jerked her arm away and slapped him. All commotion in the lab stopped. You could hear a pin drop.

"Please, Temperance. Just a word," he whispered. "I deserve that much." He didn't mean that last part to come out bitterly, but it had. Not looking at him, she led him into her office, where he closed the door behind him.

"What do you want," she said. She still wouldn't look at him. In the office, alone with her, he wondered what he would say to her now. He'd practiced it, yeah. For several years. The speech had pretty much stayed the same. But now that she was here, he couldn't remember a word of it.

He looked at her. He wondered why she wouldn't meet his eyes. He noticed the paleness of her skin; the way her lab coat just hung on her body. Her arms crossed across her chest told Booth he should take Angela's advice and not push. It didn't seem like Brennan would tell him much right now anyway. She was angry.

"I just wanted to know that you are okay. That's it," Booth said. "He opened the door and then turned around. "You know you can count on me, right Bones?" Brennan nodded and then watched him leave. Tears threatened to spill over, so she compartmentalized; to erase any thought that didn't have to do with the skeleton up on the platform. That's all she knew how to do. But now, even working didn't seem like enough to pass the time. She suddenly didn't feel like doing anything. Sitting down in her chair, she closed her eyes. She knew she had to eat something, but she couldn't keep anything down anyway, so why bother. She rummaged in her bag for some saltines. Those were about all she could handle.

A few minutes went by before Angela came in, startling Brennan awake. She must've fallen asleep. She blinked her eyes a couple times to bring Angela into focus.

"How did it go?" Angela asked, perching herself on the side of Brennan's desk. Brennan had to smile at Angela's big grin. She knew Angela had always hoped that she and Booth would've gotten together. The thought made her frown.

"How did what go," Brennan asked. She got up and walked around, trying to relax her painful, stiff muscles.

"You know what I'm talking about, Brennan. Now spit it out." Brennan turned and faced her friend. Her best friend. The one she could tell anything to. Other than Booth, of course. She sighed.

"I guess okay. He forced me in here just to ask me how I was. I don't understand the need for privacy. He could've asked that up on the platform." Angela blew out a breath and looked to the heavens.

"You know, after you left, he came by every single day for a solid month. I guess he was hoping that you'd changed your mind and come back," Angela admitted. "I mean, we all missed you. But he missed you more. You would've thought someone had cut off his right arm. I guess he was hoping by bringing you in here that you'd give him some answers."

"I don't have any answers, Angela," Brennan said softly. "I just knew that I had to get out of here. To put some distance between me and everything. What I didn't realize is that it doesn't matter how far I ran, the everything followed me. And it was now compounded by the loss of you all. " Angela smiled sadly. "I don't know if I'll ever be able to explain it. I honestly don't see what bringing it all back up will accomplish. I'm choosing to live in the present, not the past."

"I understand. Well, I don't but as long as you're ok?" She asked. Brennan just nodded. "Ok then. Let's see what those thousand year old bones will tell us. At least I can make him look good." She followed Brennan back to the platform. Booth was right; something was different.

BB

"So she just showed up?" Sweets asked, as he sat in the diner across from Booth, who was nursing a cup of coffee that had gotten cold.

"Yea. No call. No letter in 10 years and she just shows up. Just like she used to be. But not, if you understand." Booth took a sip and spit it back into the mug. He pushed it away and stared out of the window. People walked by, cars crept along the street. Lives continued to go on.

"Ten years is a long time, Agent Booth. I'm sure she _is_ different." Sweets grabbed a fry and dipped it into the ketchup.

"I guess so," Booth mumbled. "I tried to get her to talk to me, but, as usual, she shut me out."

"Maybe there's nothing to say," Sweets replied.

"After leaving the country, with no goodbye, there isn't anything to say about that?" Booth was getting angry. He pressed his lips into a thin line, his jaw tightened.

"Give her a few days to get acclimated. She'll talk when she's ready," Sweets said, getting up. "Daisy is waiting for me. For some reason, she thinks we need to pick china patterns together. I can't wait until this wedding is over." Booth smiled a little. "Call me if you need me." Sweets waved as he left the diner.

Booth leaned his head on his upturned hands. He'd tried to move on. There had been several women he thought he could spend his future with. But they weren't Bones and when he realized how unfair he was being, he stopped looking altogether.

Seeing her again was like opening an old wound; like someone had ripped the scab off. His heart ached. Physically and emotionally. He'd kidded himself into thinking he could live without her all these years. Breathing was one thing. Wholeness was a something different.

BB

At a quarter to midnight, Brennan placed the bones into a pine box; labeling them once the lid was placed. She frowned. The solace that usually came with completion wasn't there anymore. The excitement was gone. The interest as well.

Slowly she made her way back to her office. The pain and fatigue was making her movements sluggish. She felt as if she were walking in tar. She dropped on the sofa and with her head in her hands, she cried for the past, for the present, for her friends, and for the future. One she wasn't going to be part of.


End file.
